Discussion – Do victims of Domestic Violence recover????

domestic violence

Wounds heal and scars fade but do victims of domestic violence ever recover???

We want to know what you think. Have your say and share your views and opinions on the evergrowing issue of domestic violence.

Domestic violence is physical or psychologocal abuse towards a partener, domestic sposue or child. It is the act used to gain or maintain power and control over those affected. Though it is more commonly commited from a male towards a female, It is a ever growing problem where the male and/or child is the victim as well.Its destroys Families and homes and changes peoples lives forever affecting even generations to come.

Warning signs of domestic violence

There is no  definite way to tell for sure if someone is experiencing domestic violence. There are those who are battered, and those who abuse and come in all personality types.The person committing the abuse  are not always violent or hateful to their partner in front of others. Most people experiencing relationship violence do not tell others what goes on at home. So how do you tell?

Here are some signs to look for:

Injuries and Excuses

Absences from Work or School:

Low Self-Esteem

Accusations of Having Affairs

Personality Change

Fear of Conflict

Not Knowing What One Wants or How One Feels

Blaming Others for Everything

Self-blame

Aggressive or Care-taking Behavior in Children

Domestic Violence……

-It affects people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds

-One in every four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

-To date studies show that there are in excess of 5.4 million cases where the male is the victim.

-3.3 million children witness domestic violence every year.

-According to a 2000 UNICEF study, 20-50% of the female population of the world will become the victims of domestic violence.

-It is never the victims fault.

-Just one in fifteen cases result in a conviction.

-No one deserves to be abused.

Below are some facts and helpful links regarding domestic violence and spotting the signs both in females and males

http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/dv.htm

http://feminist.org/other/dv/dvfact.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220041

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/

Have your say and let us know what you think.We look forward to hearing your views and opinions.tomthumb

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15 Responses to Discussion – Do victims of Domestic Violence recover????

  1. Amy Meeks says:

    Hello,
    My name is Amy and I wanted to share my experience with domestic violence. I was very severly abused by my ex and he was later found to have been sexually assaulting his children from a previous relationship. We have two children together, however, it was never clear if had sexually abused them. In any event, he is currently incarcerated at Clinton Correctional facility in ny. A couple of months ago he petitioned for contact with my children who are now 9 and 6 years old. Being that he is in prison for molesting his own children and has a restraining order to stay away from my own children, I thought I had nothing to worry about. Well, I was wrong. The judge granted phone contact; which was supported by the law guardian, and I am devastated. He will soon be released and I fear for the safety of myself and my children. I have struggled alot since the abuse and have been diagnosed with PTSD and panic disorder. I require medication to even function or interact with other people. I have found some peace as I have earned my nursing degree and now work with others who have been abused. So, I think recovery does occur to a certain extent, but it never truly goes away. I would appreciate if you would please share my website, it is to raise funds to move away before he is released. If nothing else, it will get the realities of domestic violence out there. Thank you!!!! Please feel free to email me with any questions. For verification purposes, so you know this is not a scam or spam, my ex’s name is Michael T. Murphy, DOB: 8/9/75 you can look him up on the Clinton Correctional facilities website. Here is the link to my site: http://www.gofundme.com/w1dac

    • admin says:

      Hello amy,
      Thank you for contacting tom thumb and especially for sharing your story with us. By standing together and been united about all the wrong doings in the world we can hopefully make change. i know from my own personal experiences that talking about things that affect and shape our lives can be very hard and know that they leave a lasting affect on us everyday. Well done to you for changing your life and gaining your nursing degree and dedicating your life to help make changes in other peoples lives too. We hope that your site gets out there so that you achieve your goals but most of all it will help in the fight against domestic violence, show people just how big of a problem it is and the affect that it has on peoples lives and show that changes need to be made to protect the victims and not protect the guilty

    • Debra says:

      Amy, I am proud of you. Are you divorced from this man? If not and he is the dad to your children, you may need to contact a lawyer about moving out of sate with the children. Most states, you need a court order to be able to move out of state with the children. And if your state requires this and you move without a court order, he can get you for kidnapping. I am in the process of opening a shelter for Battered Women and Children of Domestic Violence. At this moment until I get my doors open for the shelter, I do a Women’s Support Group for those going through Domestic Violence or have been in it. Be careful!

      • Debra says:

        Amy, if you have any questions about moving out of state with children please contact me @( debra.stringer). I hope you are still doing well. Stay safe and hope to hear from you soon. If you need me for anything, please feel free to contact me.

    • Douglas says:

      Get as geographically far away from him as possible. He is mentally sick, unpredictable, and dangerous. And do everything necessary to protect yourself. God Bless You Amy

  2. iris says:

    I wrote two e-manuals –How to become a better parent and How to choose the right type of man available on my website for anyone that is interested. http://www.touchedbyaangel.org/E-Manuals.html You can read the first 6 pages of both manuals right online.
    These manuals will help answer the majority of questions of why women are in domestic violence relationships and how it affects their parenting and children. Women can recover, but it takes a lot of hard work and determination. It starts with self-evaluation.

  3. Very surprised to see you admit that women can be violent, too.
    .
    Now can we admit that there is no domestic violence shelter in the entire world that provides men with services equal to those of women (that isnt the kind of equality that feminists want)

    • Debra says:

      Yes, there is a place for men in Citronelle, Alabama. This is CHAIR MINISTRY. They help men in all areas especially if they are a victim of Domestic Violence.

  4. Erin Pizzey is credited with creating the first women’s shelter (in Britain and arguably the world)……Many were very upset with her that she dared suggest that men are victims, too.
    .
    In fact, she got many death threats for daring to suggest that men deserved equal access to services that men get.
    .
    If the law is called the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), then it is sexist and it excludes men, thus male victims are not treated the same as female victims.
    .
    How will male victims ever be able to recover if society in which they live refuses to admit that men can be victims?
    .
    Having been raised by lesbian feminist historians, I was certain feminists wanted nothing but equal treatment with men, not superior treatment that men dont get (and when I grew up, I came to realize that feminists were just female supremacists trying to ensure inferior rights for men)

  5. Although this blog has been written from a gender neutral persepctive, the perspective of iris is of that of the mainstream that is very gender biased towardss women and away from men………is it sexual discrimination to treat only men as perps of DV and only women as victims? YUP! is this the kind of sexual discrimination we should expect from feminsits and women?
    .
    How do we know that women have it worse when it comes to domestic violence if we refuse to even admit that women can be violent (or emotionally abusive) or that men can be victims of women?
    .
    Just cuz we live in a society that refuses to admit men can be victims does not mean men are not victims, it just means we live in a society that refuses to treat men as victims

  6. “The crux of the problem is society accepts these things happen to women but people still don’t believe they happen to men.”

    Read More http://www.walesonline.co.uk/showbiz-and-lifestyle/television-in-wales/2012/09/23/welsh-men-speak-of-the-domestic-abuse-they-suffered-for-new-s4c-show-91466-31888155/#ixzz27lRlLItg
    .
    “Threats to take away access to the children are used against men who are already vulnerable. It’s also difficult to find help due to a lack of support services geared towards the needs of men. This programme, which took more than a year to make, gives a voice to male victims of domestic abuse.”

    Read More http://www.walesonline.co.uk/showbiz-and-lifestyle/television-in-wales/2012/09/23/welsh-men-speak-of-the-domestic-abuse-they-suffered-for-new-s4c-show-91466-31888155/#ixzz27lRCrUkR

  7. BTW, One of the easiest ways for women to abuse men is when there are children around. The family courts propensity to give the children only to mothers (87% of the time) is such that a man who wants to protect his children from his abusive spouse must endure the abusive spouse himself for years until the children grow up (if he complains and tries to protect his kids form his abusive spouse, you can be certain in most cases the courts will award custody to the abusive spouse cuz our matriarchal soceity assumes women to be only victims and never perpetrators of Domestic Violence (among those we should thank or credit with this anti-male attitude is our current vice president, Joe, the man hater Biden, he was oen of two original supporters of the man hater legislation known as VAWA, also known as the “feel free to beat your man law”.
    .
    When you create a law that is called the violence against women act (VAWA), you have basicly said it is perfectly ok to beat men, but dont ever do it to women.

  8. Debra says:

    Oh, please quit whining. I already mentioned in my comment about a place for men going through Domestic Violence can contact or go too. Domestic Violence is 50/50 now. Men just don’t want to hurt there ego by admitting to be a victim of Domestic Violence. There are a lot more of silent cases of Domestic Violence that nobody knows about.

  9. Sarah says:

    Hello, I currently feel afraid. I was abused for several years by my partner. It was found a fact in the UK family courts. Many accounts of abuse. I thought contact would be made safe afterwards, until I met the CAFCASS officer. The abuse was minimised, a report written portraying my former partner as saint, and me as unbalanced. Contact is now being pushed forward, and my only option is to say that I can’t handle contact. This puts me in an terrible position, because children are taken in the UK, if parents are seen to be unstable. I am happy and confident in every way, my little one is happy, healthy and well adjusted. The only anxiety I feel is over contact.
    I don’t know what to do. My former partner has CAFCASS wrapped around his finger, they have bent over backwards for him. I wish there was something I could do. He abused me for years, was found guilty in court, yet I am being treated as insignificant. My own feelings, concerns, or wishes haven’t been considered, or even recorded by CAFCASS.
    I would move away if I could, but it’s not possible to move when proceedings are ongoing :(
    Any advice or support would be appreciated!
    Thanks, Sarah x

  10. Carolyn says:

    Victims of domestic violence and domestic abuse can receive emotional and practical support in UK from the charity Victim Support at http://www.victimsupport.org.uk they can contact Womens Aid and also The National Centre for Domestic Violence. If you do search organisations on your phone or computer make sure you can do so safely.

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